Friday, September 23, 2022

One of These Days I Am Going to Sit Down & Talk to Paul (Goldman)

 Hello Young Looking Handsome Counselor,

Thank you for the prompt response to my email request.

My company provides short-term loans for completion of commercial projects. We provided a six month loan to our debtor (Unresponsive Local Business Name Here) in the amount of $920,650.00. I know that there is a need for conflict check before representation, please find the full debtor’s information below:

(Unsuspecting Company Here)

You may email me your standard retainer agreement for my review if there are no conflicts for representation as I intend to proceed immediately. I will email and call you to discuss further details of our claim, and also forward you the pertinent document for your review.

I await your response.

Sincerely,

Paul Goldman
President
Longhorn Finance
2110B S Congress Ave,
Austin, TX 78704

Friday, August 26, 2022

Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah

---------- Forwarded message --------- From: Michael Wieslaw Woloszyn Date: Mon, Subject: Re: YOUR Service Is Needed To: Jedi Lawyer Hi Bad Ass Lawyer Person, I really appreciate your timely response. I am purchasing a used excavator in [Your State Here], I need your firm to provide trust or escrow service for the purchase. Total cost for the excavator is $320,000.00 all funds in USD. Attached is a copy of the purchase agreement and sales purchase instructions for your perusal. Kindly go through it and let me know your service charge for the service required. You can refer me should you be unavailable for the job. Your timely response will be highly appreciated. Thank you. Regards Michael Wieslaw Woloszyn Business Development Manager ADD: 175 Somme Ave SW Calgary, AB T2T 5J8 | TEL: +1-587-749-1106 IMPORTANT NOTICE: This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify the system manager. This message contains confidential information and is intended only for the individual named. If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this e-mail. On Fri, Aug 19, 2022 at 8:33 AM Michael Wieslaw Woloszyn wrote: Hello Objectively Hansome Attorney Can your firm provide escrow/closing service for the purchase of a Used Excavator machine? Best Regards, Michael Wieslaw Woloszyn

That's Not My Name

Courtney McMcormick Hello Emily Cole, We appreciate you giving us a chance to discuss our case. We placed an order for some goods from Fastenal Company back in January 2019 and the terms of the sales contract requires us to pay 50% of the total cost of the ordered goods before delivery and the balance after we have received the same goods. However, after we made the 50% initial deposit, we did not receive any goods as required. The goods ought to be delivered in February 2019. More time was given to them to deliver the goods which they were still unable to meet with. Hence, we requested a refund. We have made several efforts to have them refund the initial deposit, but to no avail. We have therefore decided to resort to legal means since there is an existing agreement prior to the transaction. Find below details of the supplier for your conflict check. We have suffered so much loss as a result of this failed transaction and we are ready to proceed with litigation if the need should arise. Let us know the best way to have this issue tackled and we will comply as long as we get results. Furthermore, we have concerns and would like you to respond in detail in your reply. Are they any foibles you see in this case? If litigation is involved, the distance gives us some concern with regards to court appearances. How can this be handled? How much is your legal fee? Do you charge on an hourly basis or contingency? What should we expect from you? Any guarantees? Please advise on your assessment of this case. A quick response will be appreciated. Regards, Courtney McCormick Group Chief Financial Officer Graham Group A - 11 Old Jewry, 2nd Fl. South London, EC2R 8DU UK C - +447868701851 On Thu wrote: We absolutely do. On Thu, Emily Cole wrote: Hello Attorney, I apologize for our cold outreach, your contact info was found from your firm website. Please advise if your firm handles breach of contract / business litigation cases. Please respond at your earliest convenience. Sincerely, Emily Cole, Assistant for Courtney McCormick, Graham Group.

Thursday, July 7, 2022

Jefrey with one f Jeffery took up his place

[Devilishly Successful and Handsome Barrister] Thank you for getting back to us regarding a potential legal representation request. I want you to draft a commercial lease agreement between my company and James Oil Co which is located in your state of practice. We are negotiating the terms for a lease agreement for their upcoming contract. They are looking at the possibility of leasing my DP3 Well Intervention Equipment for a 12 month duration. We will require your services for the following: Draft the lease agreement Review the required documents for the lease We will handle negotiations. We may need your advice on the legal part if the need arises. The total value of the transaction will be around $3,800,000 which will be handled by my company. We were hoping to kick this off first week of September, but due to the COVID19 outbreak we are uncertain about the closing date. Send me a retainer agreement based on your hourly rate, I believe you will not exceed 20 hours on the whole project. My week is looking tied, we can schedule to discuss after I have reviewed your retainer agreement, once we are set to have you start drafting the lease agreement. Lessee Conflict: [Poor, unsuspecting, local company here] I look forward to hearing from you and working with you on this project. Let me know if you have any questions. Regards, Jeffrey Courtland President KMG Exploration 2525 Northwest Expy, Suite 116, Oklahoma City, OK 73112 (405) 252-9011

Thursday, June 16, 2022

McCormick: Worth It

Dear [Dashing Young Lawyer About Town], We appreciate you giving us a chance to discuss our case. We placed an order for some goods from Fastenal Company back in January, 2019 and the terms of the sales contract requires us to pay 50% of the total cost of the ordered goods before delivery and the balance after we have received the same goods. However, after we made the 50% initial deposit, we did not receive any goods as required. The goods ought to be delivered in February, 2019. More time was given to them to deliver the goods which they were still unable to meet with. Hence, we requested a refund. We have made several efforts to have them refund the initial deposit, but to no avail. We have therefore decided to resort to legal means since there is an existing agreement prior to the transaction. Find below details of the supplier for your conflict check. Naive Local Company Name Here We have suffered so much loss as a result of this failed transaction and we are ready to proceed with litigation if the need should arise. Let us know the best way to have this issue tackled and we will comply as long as we get results. Furthermore , we have concerns and would like you to respond in detail in your reply. Are they any foibles you see in this case? If litigation is involved, the distance gives us some concern with regards to court appearances. How can this be handled? How much is your legal fee? Do you charge on an hourly basis or contingency? What should we expect from you? Any guarantees? Please advise on your assessment of this case. A quick response will be appreciated. Regards, Courtney McCormick Group Chief Financial Officer Graham Group A - 2nd Floor South, 11 Old Jewry, London. EC2R 8DU C - +447868701851

Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Weston(d) Girls

[Impossibly Successful Lawyer], Thank you for getting back to me and apologies for the slow response. I need the services of your firm to draft a loan agreement and handle the closing for the purchase of 2 Robot Surgical Machines (Intuitive’s da Vinci Surgical System} by a company located in your state. We will be paying the original seller and securing the machines as collateral once we finalize the approval of the loan. There will be two parties involved in the transaction for the closing, The lender and the buyer. The loan will be for 18 months and is set to commence by the First week of July, this is depending on how fast we can negotiate the terms of the loan and finalize a closing date. The repayment will be on a monthly basis with 4.9% interest annually until payment is complete. The loan amount for the equipment is $3,500,000. I will need the legal expertise of your firm to advise us on how the loan agreement should be drafted, to comply with your state laws, advise on the legal terms to protect our interest, and review all supporting documents from the borrower. You can bill us based on an hourly rate, I do not foresee us spending more than 20-30 hours on this transaction, the delay may come towards the closing date. Send me your standard retainer agreement which you use for similar cases and kindly include your rate so I can review it with my board. I will schedule to discuss with you after I have reviewed your terms, hopefully, before the end of the week. Let me know if you have any questions, I look forward to hearing back from you. Conflict check information of the Borrower: [Poor local company] Regards, Ryan Weston CFO Commercial Loan Funding LLC Tel: 786-638-5643 Add 1110 NW 75th Street, Miami, FL 33150 Web: www.commercialloanfundingllc.com

Tuesday, June 7, 2022

Adelson, I know this world is killing you

Hello [Dashing Counselor at Law], Thank you for your prompt response. Am currently on an official assignment outside the states and Phil Adelson (ex-husband) lives in jurisdiction. Due to the time difference (+13hrs EST) it is a little bit difficult to determine the best time to call you. Following our divorce, we agreed under a negotiated settlement agreement which is incorporated, merged into and made part of the court decree for a one-time payment of $823,500.00 for Family support (this includes child support, alimony and medical support). To his credit, he has paid me $499,500.00 USD but still owes $324,000.00 USD and the due time for completion of payment is over. Thus, I request your legal counsel and representation to enforce the final judgment thereby compelling him to remit the balance owed me. He is aware of my intention to seek legal actions. Attached is a copy of the separation agreement, and Final Judgment and I will be pleased to provide further information on this case on request. Prior to retaining you, Kindly forward a copy of your retainer agreement. As soon as I receive your firm's retainer agreement, I will review it to determine if the terms are acceptable to me. I would provide a copy of the signed retainer for your records and for us to proceed with this case. Regards, Yumiko Adelson