Yoda Talks to a Scammer

 Phillip Hirschfelder

philliphirschfelder9@gmail.com

Hello,

Could you please assist me with a business sales agreement?

Thanks,
Phillip

___________________________________

Re: Assistance Needed: Business Sales Agreement

To: Phillip Hirschfelder <philliphirschfelder9@gmail.com>

Fear is the path to the legal side. Difficult to see, the future is. Help we can. 

___________________________

Good Morning [Best Lawyer Ever]

Thank you for your response to our inquiry regarding legal representation.

I am writing to formally explore engaging your firm as  counsel in connection with both an upcoming equipment transaction and our anticipated business expansion into your state.

Radiology Oncology Systems, Inc. has over twenty-five years of experience supplying professionally refurbished radiation therapy equipment to hospitals and cancer treatment centers worldwide. Our company specializes in delivering reliable, cost-effective linear accelerators and related systems to healthcare providers. As part of our strategic growth plan, we intend to establish a  branch in your state later this year and will require legal guidance regarding corporate formation, regulatory considerations, and general business compliance matters.

In the immediate term, we are preparing to consummate the sale of a 2020 Elekta Versa HD Linear Accelerator to  St. Michael Cancer Center in Washington. The principal business terms have been negotiated and agreed upon. We request your firm’s assistance in preparing and negotiating the definitive purchase and sale agreement and advising us through closing to ensure the transaction is properly structured and documented under your state law.

For conflict review purposes, the counterparty is:

St. Michael Cancer Center
1900 NW Myhre Rd, 
Silverdale, WA 98383

At your convenience, please advise:

• Whether your firm is available to undertake this representation;

• Your proposed fee structure, billing rates, and retainer requirements; and

• Upon clearance of conflicts, kindly forward your engagement letter for our review and execution.

Should you require any additional information to evaluate this matter or prepare an engagement agreement, please do not hesitate to contact me. I am available Monday through Friday from 11:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. (EST) and may be reached directly at  (858) 753-9064  .

We appreciate your consideration and look forward to the possibility of working with your firm.

Respectfully,

Phillip Hirschfelder
Vice President, International
Radiology Oncology Systems, Inc.
5465 Morehouse Drive, Suite 250
San Diego, CA 92121
(858) 753-9064

__________________________________________

Good morning, Phillip,

For your thoughtful message, thank you, I do.

Radiology Oncology Systems, Inc. and its work in supplying refurbished radiation therapy equipment worldwide, appreciate I do. Impressive, your company’s experience is, and clear, your expansion plans and upcoming transaction are.

Subject to completion of our conflict review, available to discuss this representation, we are. Assistance with the proposed sale of the 2020 Elekta Versa HD Linear Accelerator to St. Michael Cancer Center, as well as guidance regarding your planned expansion into Washington, matters we would be pleased to consider.

For the transaction, helpful it would be if you could forward any existing term sheet, correspondence reflecting the agreed business terms, and any draft documents already in circulation. Better assess scope, timing, and staffing, we then can. As to your anticipated Washington branch, an overview of your intended business activities, projected timeline, and proposed entity structure, useful for our preliminary evaluation would be.

As for fees, once the scope of the work more fully understand we do, our proposed billing rates, fee structure, and any retainer requirements, provide we can. Upon clearance of conflicts and agreement on scope, an engagement letter for your review and execution, we would then be glad to send.

And now, deeper into the heart of this matter, travel we must. A proper equipment sale agreement, like a well-built hyperdrive manifold, aligned carefully must be — or into an asteroid field of indemnities and closing conditions, drift one may. Regulatory compliance, corporate formation, and Washington business requirements, approach we would with more care than Jocasta Nu guarding the Jedi Archives on Coruscant. Lost in the stacks of state filings, become we will not.

Conflict checks, delicate they are — almost as if sorting allies from enemies in the days before the Battle of Kashyyyk. But fear not: more orderly than the records room on Scarif, our intake process is. And unlike the trade negotiations of the prequel era, endless and unbearable this process shall not be. Briefly, efficiently, and with minimal disturbance in the Force, proceed we hope to.

Should additional information you wish to send, welcome it would be. Available to connect during your stated hours, we should be pleased to arrange.

With appreciation, and with interest in the possibility of working together,
remain we.

Respectfully,

_______________________________________________

Hello Aaron, 

Good morning, and thank you for your detailed and thoughtful message. I very much appreciate your kind words regarding Radiology Oncology Systems, Inc., as well as your consideration of this matter.

Your overview of the process and the information required is clear and well received. At this stage, I am happy to provide any preliminary materials that may assist with your internal review. However, I wanted to note that, upon completion of your conflicts check and once we have formally engaged your firm, we will provide a comprehensive package of all relevant documentation. This will include prior agreements, lease structures, and transaction materials we have used in similar contexts, all appropriately redacted as needed. Our intention is to ensure that your team has a complete and organized foundation to work from, making the process as efficient and seamless as possible.

In the interim, I can certainly begin compiling and sharing high-level information regarding the proposed transaction, including any available term sheets or correspondence reflecting agreed business terms. Likewise, I will prepare an overview of our anticipated expansion into Washington, including our intended business activities, projected timeline, and preliminary thoughts on entity structure, to assist with your initial assessment.

I appreciate your explanation regarding the sequencing of the conflicts review, scope definition, and eventual engagement letter. Please keep me apprised of your progress on the conflicts check, and do not hesitate to let me know if any additional information would be helpful in facilitating that process.

I also want to say that your message was both insightful and memorable—your analogies certainly made for an engaging read. Rest assured, on our end, we are aligned in the goal of keeping this process structured, efficient, and well-coordinated.

Thank you again for your time and consideration. I look forward to your update and to the opportunity to work together.

Warm regards,
Phillip Hirschfelder
Vice President, International
Radiology Oncology Systems, Inc.

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Hello Phillip,

Thankful I am for your thoughtful note, and for the clarity you have provided. Helpful to our internal review, your willingness to begin assembling preliminary materials will be.

A sensible approach, yours is. Once the conflicts check is complete and the engagement is formalized, a more comprehensive and organized package of documents will help us proceed efficiently. Especially useful, the prior agreements, lease structures, and transaction materials you mentioned will be.

In the meantime, valuable for our initial assessment, the high-level information regarding the proposed transaction will be, along with any term sheets or correspondence reflecting agreed business terms. Also beneficial will be your overview of the anticipated Washington expansion, including the intended business activities, projected timeline, and preliminary thoughts on entity structure.

As the conflicts review progresses, keep you apprised, I will. Should any additional information be needed from you to help move that process along, reach out, I shall. Always in motion is the future, but well prepared, we can be.

And memorable, yes, our earlier exchange was. Glad I am that the spirit of it resonated. Shared, our goal is: structured, efficient, and well-coordinated, this process must be. Strong with this matter, the Force is—though unlike my old hut on Dagobah, cleaner paperwork this project has.

Thank you again, Phillip. The opportunity to work together, I look forward to.

Warm regards,
Best Cannabis Attorney Ever

_______________________________________________________________

Hello [ Your Name Here ],

Good afternoon, and thank you for your thoughtful note—I appreciate the update and your continued coordination.

I will proceed with assembling the requested high-level materials, including any available term sheets, relevant correspondence reflecting agreed business terms, and a preliminary overview of our anticipated Washington expansion. This will include our intended business activities, projected timeline, and initial thoughts regarding entity structure to assist with your internal assessment.

Please feel free to let me know if there are any specific areas you would like me to prioritize or expand upon as I prepare these materials.

In the meantime, I would appreciate any update you can provide regarding the status of the conflicts review. If conflicts have been cleared, I would be grateful if you could proceed with forwarding your engagement/retainer agreement for our review and signature.

Additionally, it would be helpful to understand your firm’s proposed hourly rates and the expected retainer deposit so we can plan accordingly.

Thank you again, Aaron. I appreciate your efforts and look forward to your update and to the opportunity to move ahead together.

Warm regards,
Phillip Hirschfelder
Vice President, International
Radiology Oncology Systems, Inc.

________________________________________________________________

Dear Phillip,

Grateful, we are, for your thoughtful note and for the materials you are preparing. Helpful to our internal assessment, those high-level documents will be.

Particularly useful, it will be, to review the anticipated Washington expansion overview, including your intended business activities, projected timeline, and preliminary thoughts on entity structure. Much clarity, these will bring to the path ahead.

As to the conflicts review, in progress it is presently. Once cleared, forward our engagement and retainer agreement for your review and signature, we shall without delay. Strong with the Force, our intake process tries to be — though at times, move at lightspeed it does not.

Regarding rates and retainer, happy to provide those details as soon as conflicts clearance is complete. If helpful in the meantime, I can also send a preliminary outline of our standard billing structure so planning accordingly, you may.

Appreciative, we are, of your patience and cooperation. Forward to moving ahead together, we do.

Fee Agreement attached. 

Warm regards,
Yo Da Dummy 

The Big Lebowski Abides

arleye184@gmail.com

Subject Lease Agreement Assistance Needed

 Dear Attorney,

We are in need of legal assistance concerning a lease agreement. If you're able to assist, that would be greatly appreciated. If not, we would be thankful for any referrals to someone who may be able to help.  

Sincerely,

Arley Enloe,
President
Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc
507 Hummingbird Lane,Talent, OR 97540
United States

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Sure. Tell me what you have going on.

- Dude

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We intend to lease our DP3 intervention equipment for a period of 12 months, and we need an attorney to help draft the lease agreement. 

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Far out. Leasing your DP3 intervention equipment for 12 months — that’s, like, a very achievable reality, man.

I can help you get a lease together that says what it needs to say without, you know, letting anybody walk all over your rug. We’ll want to lay out the basics: who’s leasing, how long, how much, what happens if the thing gets dinged up, who’s responsible for maintenance, insurance stuff — all the boring but important business that keeps things from turning into, like, a whole scene.

If you can send over a little more detail — who the lessee is, where the equipment’s going to live, and whether this is a straight lease or lease-with-option-to-buy — I can build something that really ties the deal together.

In the meantime, yeah, I can help with this.

The Dude

(P.S. if this is time-sensitive, just say so — sometimes the calendar’s, like, not super chill.)

Aaron (the dude) 

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Hello Aaron,

Thank you for your response. I’d like to engage your services to draft a commercial lease agreement between Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc. and Holocene Drilling, Inc.
(Puyallup, WA) for the lease of our DP3 Well Intervention Equipment over a 12-month term.

Scope of work:

Draft the lease agreement

Review supporting documents

Provide legal input as needed

The transaction value is approx. USD 3.4M, handled by my company. We plan to start by the second week of November 2025. I’ll share previous lease samples to expedite your review.

Please forward your retainer agreement based on your hourly rate. I expect the matter to take no more than 20 hours in total. Once reviewed, we can schedule a call to finalize and proceed.

Holocene Drilling, Inc
11412 62nd Ave E, Puyallup, WA 98373

I’m available Mon–Fri, 11 a.m.–4 p.m. (EST) at the number below.

Best regards,
Arley Enloe
President | Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc.
507 Hummingbird Ln, Talent, OR 97540
Direct: (678) 223-3011

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Hey Arley,

Yeah, man, I can totally help you out with this. Sounds like a solid gig — twelve months, big-ticket equipment, all very above board and whatnot. We’ll just make sure the lease keeps everyone happy and nobody’s toes — or, you know, multi-million-dollar tools — get stepped on.

You send me those sample leases, and I’ll brew up a new one that fits your deal. I’ll throw in the usual stuff — who’s responsible when the thing breaks, who’s gotta insure it, what happens if someone disappears to Puyallup with your gear — the whole legal jazz.

My rate’s hourly, man, so I’ll send over my retainer agreement. We’ll start there, and once the papers are in order, we can hop on a call, maybe pour a coffee, talk it out. You’re on Eastern time, I’m out West — we’ll make it work.

Appreciate you laying it out so clearly, Arley. You sound like a guy who knows his drill bits.

Talk soon,
The Dude
(or, you know… Aaron, if we’re keeping it official)

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Thank you for your message , I appreciate your willingness to assist with the lease drafting. I will get the sample lease and forward it to you later so you can review the structure and terms we have used previously.

Kindly go ahead and send your retainer agreement.Once we receive your retainer agreement, we will review and confirm so we can proceed. I am glad we are aligned on the overall approach, and I look forward to working with you on this project.

Best regards,


Arley Enloe
President
Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc
507 Hummingbird Lane,Talent, OR 97540
United States
📞 (678) 223-3011 (Direct)

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Hey Arley,

Right on — thanks for the quick reply.

Go ahead and send over that sample lease whenever you’ve got it handy and I’ll take a look at how you’ve been doing these so far. Always easier to roll with the deal you already have than reinvent the whole ball, you know?

In the meantime, my retainer agreement is attached — it lays out the rate ($750/hr) and the $7,500 retainer to get us up and rolling. Once you sign off on that, we’re good to start drafting and tightening things up for the DP3 lease.

Appreciate you keeping this nice and straightforward. Looking forward to working with you on it.

The Dude
(Aaron)

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY''

They actually signed this fee agreement 

The Dude’s Legal Services Agreement

(Because, you know, new information has come to light)

Between:

Aaron Dude, Esq. — “The Dude” (hereinafter, “Counsel,” “me,” or “the guy doing the law stuff”)

and

Client: Arley Enloe / Enloe Drilling & Pumps, Inc. (hereinafter, “Client,” “You,” or “the other Dude”)

Date: 10/30/2025

1. What This Whole Thing Is About

You’ve got a deal — a big, beautiful piece of equipment, a lease, and some folks in Puyallup. I’ve agreed to draft the paperwork, review the samples, and make sure everyone abides.

This document explains how we’ll roll. Nothing heavy, just what we need so nobody pees on the rug.

2. Scope of Work

I’ll:

• Draft a commercial lease agreement for your DP3 Well Intervention Equipment for a 12-month term.

• Review any sample or past leases you’ve got lying around.

• Offer legal advice and input where it counts.

• Make sure this thing doesn’t end up a total, you know, parlance of our times situation.

If you decide to expand the scope (more documents, extra terms, cross-state shenanigans), we’ll chat before I rack up more time.

3. Fees and Retainer

My rate is $750 per hour, billed in 0.1-hour (six-minute) increments.

Before we start rolling, you’ll put down a retainer of $7,500. That goes into my trust account — like a sacred beverage fund. I bill against it as I work. When it runs low, I’ll let you know, and you can toss in another.

If we wrap up and there’s money left, it flows back to you. The Dude doesn’t hoard retainers.

4. Billing and Payment

You’ll get detailed invoices showing what was done, how long it took, and why. Payment is due within 15 days of the invoice date.

If you hit a rough patch, man, just communicate. This aggression will not stand, but conversation will.

5. Termination (The End of the Line)

Either of us can walk away at any time. Just send a quick written notice — no drama.

If you end it, I’ll finish up what’s in motion and send a final bill. If I end it, I’ll give you a heads-up and make sure you’re not stranded like Donny out there in the lane.

6. Confidentiality

What’s said between us stays between us. No leaks, no random tales told at the bowling alley.

Except if the law says otherwise — in which case, I’ll let you know before anything gets spilled.

7. Governing Law

We’re playing under Washington State law, man. It’s a fine state — wet, procedural, sometimes cranky, but it abides.

If something goes sideways, we’ll try to sort it out through talking before dragging anyone to court.

8. The Spirit of the Thing

Look — this is a business deal, sure. But business doesn’t have to be a bummer. We’ll treat each other fair, stay transparent, and keep the vibe good.

No nihilists. No Larrys smashing Corvettes. Just two dudes handling business like gentlemen of the lane.

Signatures

Aaron Pelley, Esq.

aka The Dude Who Practices Law

Date: _______________

Arley Enloe

for Enloe Drilling & Pumps, Inc.

Date: _______________

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Hello Aaron,

I am writing to confirm that we are ready to proceed with engaging your firm to provide the following services:

Drafting the lease agreement

Amending the lease agreement, if necessary

Reviewing supporting documents related to the lease

Holding the offer deposit

Kindly confirm receipt of the signed retainer agreement at your earliest convenience.

For payment purposes, please provide the following details:
The name to which the cashier’s check should be made payable
The preferred mailing address for sending the check

I have also spoken with the broker regarding the lease and the next steps. To move forward, we will require an offer letter outlining the lessee’s preferred terms and the proposed lease process. This will help ensure that all parties are aligned before the lease agreement is drafted.

In addition, the broker will be sending you a Letter of Intent (LOI), along with the holding deposit,anticipated to be between $100,000 and $300,000—as you will be managing the transaction. This deposit will secure the negotiation period and prevent consideration of other offers during that time.

I look forward to your confirmation.

Best regards,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello Aaron,

It looks like we have an offer on the way. The broker notified me that they have sent their offer documents to your office. Kindly send me copies of the documents once it has been received so we can discuss the next steps. 

He has also confirmed that we will receive the official letter of intent by email later this morning. 

Kindly be on the lookout for the email.

Best regards,


Arley Enloe
President
Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc
507 Hummingbird Lane
Talent, OR 97540
United States

Arley Enloe
President
Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc
507 Hummingbird Lane,Talent, OR 97540
United States
📞 (678) 223-3011 (Direct)


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Aaron,

Please be aware that UPS attempted to deliver to the address you gave us but was unable, kindly reach out to UPS .

Your tracking number is below.

UPS:1Z00C2256604656904

Best regards,


Arley Enloe
President
Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc
507 Hummingbird Lane,Talent, OR 97540
United States
📞 (678) 223-3011 (Direct)


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Whoa dude. What are they sending. I need a White Russian ASAP.




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Aaron,

I was quite surprised by your question, as the lessee already sent their offer documents and the holding deposit to the address you previously provided. I had initially raised a concern regarding the address discrepancy, but you assured me at the time that everything was in order, as it was your new address.

Kindly confirm whether you have contacted FedEx to verify the delivery status. Please provide an update as soon as possible so we can ensure that all items have been properly received and accounted for..

Best regards,


Arley Enloe
President
Enloe Drilling & Pumps Inc
507 Hummingbird Lane,Talent, OR 97540
United States
📞 (678) 223-3011 (Direct)

Scammer (Dr. Bruce E Sands) vs Sean Connery

 From. drbruceesands89@gmail.com

Hi, I'm looking for a business lawyer with extensive knowledge of contract drafting. Warm regards

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Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Dishes

Dishes Who?

Dishes Sean Connery, here to help you my exshtishiv knowledge of contracts. 

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Hi Sean, I have negotiated and agreed to sell the Siemens MAGNETOM Verio 3.0T  to [local unsuspecting company name here] I need your help to draft the purchase agreement. Attached are the required details of the machine for your review. This transaction is a cash transaction and “as is”, with no financing and sale closes once full payment is made. This is a no title Machine. The Buyer wants the agreement to be governed by the laws of their state. Buyer will take responsibility for shipping cost and risk of damage. Timing -Sale will be finalized once both parties have signed the purchase agreement and full payment made. What is your rate and cost of representation? Kindly email your engagement letter for my review and signing. Thank you for your consideration.



Dr. Bruce E. Sands
5 E 98th St, New York, NY
787-607-9429

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Dr. Sands,

Ah, the Siemens MAGNETOM Verio 3.0T… a fine machine indeed. Very powerful. Very imprehssive. Cash only, you shay? That’s the way to do it. None of this flim-flam financing. And “ash is, no title”? That’s bold, my boy. Remindsh me of a proper game of baccarat — you win, you take the pot, and you walk away smiling.

The buyer paying shipping and taking the rishk of damage? Remarkable. You’ve tilted the table in your favor, and I admire that. It’sh almost Bond-like. Almost.

Now, as for me, I’ll draft your agreement. It’ll be tight, bulletproof, not a shingle word out of place. Governed by their shtate law? Fine. I’ve wrestled with tougher opponents than that, and I always come out on top.

My rates? Fair. My engagement letter? Straightforward. When you hire me, you’re not just getting a lawyer. You’re getting someone who can charm the Queen, outdrink the villains, and shtill have time to win the game at the end of the day.

I’ll send you the letter for review and shigning. Together we’ll make this transaction smoother than a well-aged Scotch.

Aaron

 XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fee Agreement I sent that he signed and sent back to me

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My good man,

You’ve forgotten the attachment. A simple enough lapse, but let us have it remedied at once. Kindly resend with the signed agreement attached.

Now, let us set our terms in black and white. These have been discussed with the buyer and accepted in principle, and they are to be built into the standard contract you will prepare.

The buyer is represented by a broker. The present understanding is as follows:
• The buyer shall tender an initial deposit of not less than 180,500 USD. This deposit will also fund the attorney retainer.
• Any attorney fees drawn from the initial deposit are non-refundable.
• The initial deposit must be received within seven business days prior to contract signing, to demonstrate commitment to the purchase.
• The full balance is due prior to shipment of the equipment. Payment follows the buyer’s satisfactory certification of inspection.
• At the time the initial deposit is made, the buyer’s broker will provide a Letter of Intent setting out the particulars of the transaction.

Kindly confirm the exact payee name for the initial deposit check. Once I have it, I shall furnish your information to the buyer’s representative so we are all rowing in the same direction. Do advise if, and when, contact is made.

Regards,

Mr. Connery

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

I have forwarded your above information to the buyer representative regarding the initial deposit of $180,500 payable to your law firm. Inorder for we both to be on same pages, I will request you to provide me details 

1: Name on the cheque for the initial deposit of $180,500

2: mailing address.


I await your prompt response ASAP so I can relate same to the buyer representative and do let me know when contact is made

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

The League of Extraordinary Litigators is the name of our firm. Our mailing address is:

The League of Extraordinary Litigators

2510 Western Ave Suite 500

Seattle, WA 98121

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Will forward your above information to the buyer representative and let me know when contact is made.

Robert vs Hunter S. Thompson

robertschofield882@gmail.com

 I wanted to inquire whether Contract Law or Commercial Lease Agreement falls within the scope of your firm's practice. Your firm was referred to me by the state bar referral service.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your response.

Best regards,

Robert Schofield

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Yes we do!

Aaron

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Hello Aaron S Thompson,

Thank you for getting back to me regarding my request for potential legal representation.

I would like to engage your services to draft a commercial lease agreement between my company and Dickerson Well Drilling, Inc.,  located in your state. We are currently negotiating the terms of a 12-month lease for our DP3 Well Intervention Equipment, in anticipation of their upcoming contract.

We will need your assistance with the following:

• Drafting the lease agreement

• Reviewing the required lease documentation

• Providing legal advice if necessary (we will handle the core negotiations)

The total value of this transaction is approximately $3,400,000, which will be managed by my company. We aim to begin this project in the second week of October 2025. To facilitate the process, I will provide you with copies of our previous lease agreements for reference.

Please send over a retainer agreement based on your hourly rate. I estimate this project will require no more than 20 hours of your time. My schedule is quite full this week, but I’d like to review your retainer agreement and then set a time to discuss the lease draft and next steps.

If you have any questions or need further information, don’t hesitate to reach out.

---

Lessee Conflict Check:
Unsuspecting Local Company Name Here

---

I am available Monday to Friday, from 11:00 AM to 4:00 PM. You can reach me at the number listed in my signature below. Let me know your availability so we can coordinate accordingly.

I look forward to working with you on this project.

Regards,

 

Robert Schofield
President
Shamrock Well & Pump
45 Industrial Road
Suite 207
Cumberland , RI 02864
📞 401-889-2033 (Direct)
📱 656-789-2203 (WhatsApp Only)


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Dear Mr. Schofield,

Well, hellfire and hydraulic pressure—$3.4 million worth of hot, spinning steel and contractual peril. I can already smell the diesel fumes and existential liability wafting off this DP3 monstrosity like a fever dream in a West Texas sandstorm.

You want a lease? Good. You need a lease. Because without one, my friend, you’re one busted valve away from a courtroom rodeo with no saddle. I’ll draft the document. I’ll read the fine print with the paranoia of a man who once watched a judge cry over a lost wrench. And if things go sideways—and they always try to—I’ll be ready to push the button labeled “Legal Advice” and brace for impact.

Conflict check is clear. Dickerson’s not on my blacklist… yet.

Here's how we’ll ride this beast:

• Hourly Rate: $1000 an hour (don't worry, no gold-plated invoices—just the blood, sweat, and ink).

• Retainer Agreement: En route shortly. Clean, sharp, and easy on the eyes.

• Estimated Hours: 20? Sure. But like drilling into shale, you never know what kind of pressure’s hiding down there.

• Timeline: Second week of October? That gives us just enough time to draft, revise, and mutter darkly about indemnification clauses under flickering fluorescent lights.

Send me the old leases. I’ll cannibalize the best parts and toss the rest into the fires of modern jurisprudence.

I’m around this week, mostly lucid between 12 and 3 PM Pacific. Let me know when you’re free and we’ll sync up—no tie required.

Hold fast.
Aaron S Thompson
Attorney-at-Law, Dream Wrangler, Occasional Scribe


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Talking Fargo with Stephen Gardner

Stephen Gardner 

stephengardner7273@gmail.com

CONSULTATION

Hello,
I am reaching out to schedule a time to discuss an environmental law matter. Does your firm do such legal work?

Please email your convenient date and time for a telephone call.


Stephen Gardner, Owner
Dns Disposal LLC.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

You betcha we do.

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Hello Best Cannabis Lawyer This Side of That Side,

We are a waste management company interested in building a long-lasting Attorney-Client Relationship with your law firm to handle both our present and future environmental law matters, with Advice concerning environmental issues in financing and business transactions in OR. We're looking forward to setting up a branch office in OR before the end of the year 2025. In the meantime, Affordable Junk Removal is interested in purchasing my 2000 R-Tech HD 3850 Dual Shaft Shredder. I have discussed and agreed to sell the Shredder to Affordable Junk Removal 6639 SE 65th Ave, Portland, OR 97206. I need your legal services to prepare a PSA / Bill of sale and to handle sales through closing. The purchase price and terms have been agreed by both parties. 

The 2000 R-Tech HD 3850 Dual Shaft Shredder and agreed terms are attached. 

Being that this is my first time working with your firm, I would like to ask a few questions, Is this something you have handled in the past? Can you get this done? What is your rate and required retainer fee for this kind of work? Can you email your engagement agreement for my perusal.

I look forward to working with you!

Sincerely,

Stephen Gardner, Owner
DNS Disposal LLC
8 Boxcar Blvd,
Tewksbury, MA 01876
Phone: (401) 830-0069

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Oh yah, hi there Stephen!

Well gosh, thanks for reachin’ out like that. We’d sure be happy to help you out with the sale of your big ol’ R-Tech HD 3850 Dual Shaft Shredder—sounds like quite the unit, don’tcha know. And it’s always nice to see folks lookin’ to build somethin’ long-term and respectable, y’know?

Now, as far as your questions go:

• Oh yah, we’ve definitely handled purchase agreements and bill o’ sales for equipment sales just like this. Nothin’ too outta the ordinary—well, aside from the shredder itself, which sounds like it could chew through a hockey rink, if ya let it.

• Yup, we can absolutely get this done for ya, no problem there.

• As for the rate and retainer, we usually start with a small retainer—I'll have my team send over the engagement letter so you can give it a gander, no pressure. It lays out everything plain as lefse.

I'll go ahead and review those attached terms, and we’ll get that engagement agreement over to ya real soon so you can take a peek and decide how you’d like to proceed.

Thanks again for reachin’ out, Stephen. Lookin’ forward to helpin’ you get this done and maybe even workin’ together down the road when you set up shop in Oregon.

Best wishes and warm regards.

- AP Fargo

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Aaron,

Thanks for the update. Kindly forward your engagement letter for my review and signature.

Regards

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. FEE AGREEMENT 

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Hello [My Name Here],

This is to confirm that DNS Disposal LLC has officially retained your firm to represent us in this sale transaction. Please note that your firm will be representing DNS Disposal LLC only in this matter. Attached is the signed engagement letter for your records.

Following further discussions with the buyer, some additional terms have been mutually agreed upon, and I would like these terms to be included in the contract you will prepare. These have been verbally discussed and confirmed with the buyer. Please note that Affordable Junk Removal will be represented by their broker.

The key terms are as follows:

The buyer will provide an initial deposit (Earnest Money), which will also cover the attorney retainer fees.

The Earnest Money will be no less than 60% of the total purchase price ($158,500), and the deposit will also include attorney fees. Please note, the attorney fees deducted from the initial deposit are non-refundable.

The remaining balance of the purchase price will be paid in full before the equipment is shipped, contingent upon the buyer's satisfactory inspection of the equipment.

The buyer's broker will provide a formal Letter of Intent detailing the transaction at the time of the initial deposit.

Kindly confirm how you would prefer the initial deposit and retainer check to be made out, as well as the mailing address for the payment.

I will provide your contact details to the buyer's representatives. The Earnest Money ($95,100) and Letter of Intent will be addressed to your firm. 

You will deduct your attorney fee of $7,500 along with some additional amount as compensation for your time serving as an escrow agent on behalf of our company. The remaining balance will be held in trust pending further instructions.

I look forward to your confirmation and response. Thank you for your assistance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh yah, hi there Stephen!

Thanks kindly for the update there — much appreciated.

We got the signed engagement letter on our end, all snug and tidy in the file now, so that’s just great. Real nice to be workin’ with folks who keep things buttoned up, y’know? And rest assured, we understand we’re representin’ DNS Disposal LLC only in this here transaction — no confusion there, nope.

Now, about them updated terms — sounds like you and the buyer have yourselves a real solid understanding. Sixty percent earnest money, coverin’ our retainer and then some, with the rest due after inspection — well, that’s just good sense. And we’ll be sure to bake that right into the PSA, clear as day, so everyone’s on the same page and no one's callin' anyone after supper with questions. You have to be careful with these scammers and such.

As for the deposit, you can have the check made out to Fargo Law, PLLC, and just go ahead and send it to:

Fargo Law, PLLC
220 Second Ave S, Suite Home Alabama
Seattle, WA 98104
Attn: Trust Accounting – DNS Disposal Deal

And once we’ve got the check and the Letter of Intent from the buyer’s broker, we’ll get things rollin’. We’ll deduct the $7,500 fee like you mentioned, and then set aside the remainder in our trust account — safe and sound until closing instructions come in. Happy to serve as escrow agent on this one — we’ll treat it like grandma’s lefse recipe: careful hands and no shortcuts.

Appreciate you entrustin’ us with this — we’re lookin’ forward to seein’ it through without any hiccups, lawsuits, or loose bolts.

Talk soon now — and do keep us posted when that LOI and check are on their way, eh?

Warmest regards,

Best Darn Washington Cannabis Lawyer Around

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

On Aug 21, 2025, at 8:41 AM, Stephen Gardner <stephengardner7273@gmail.com> wrote:

Hey Super Lawyer,

I think the address you gave me is incorrect. FedEx delivery service is trying to deliver the packages but was told the address is incorrect. Should I send you the tracking number to track and see for yourself?

Regards

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Oh yah, hi there Stephen! Yes. You best send over to me. 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey Bad Mass Mo Fo

Thanks for the update, Lawyer of the Year. Please see tracking number below.

883599594840

Regards

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Oh yah, Stephen, looks like I goofed there, don’tcha know. My bad. That ain’t my address. The right one’s [My addresss with the wrong zip code]. By the way, did ya happen to send my retainer, then?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cheech and Terry

Terry Martinson <terrymartinsonoffice05@gmail.com> 

Cannabis matter

Does your firm handle cannabis law matters?


XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


We do.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hello ________,

I would like to start a lasting relationship with your law firm to help handle legal issues in cannabis transactions in California. AMERICAN CANNABIS COMPANY, 1313 A, 1313 Ocean Front Walk, Venice, CA 90291 wants to buy my two GreenBroz N-Line Trimming Machines and Harvest Bud Sorter Systems.

I want to request that you help with the sales contract and guide the transaction to its completion. Both parties have settled on the terms, cost price, taxation, and terms of delivery. Here are the detailed specifications on the GreenBroz N-Line Trimming Machines and Harvest Bud Sorter Systems.

Is your firm able to help out with this? How much do you charge and what is required for a retainer for this work? Would you please send me a copy of the engagement agreement for my review as well?

Thank you for your time.

Terry Martinson
381 S Ames St #E307,
Lakewood, CO 80226

(303) 607-5135

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hey Terry,

Far out, man — thanks for reaching out. This is exactly the kind of gig we dig. I mean, cannabis equipment sales? In California? Between Venice Beach and Lakewood? It's like the Super Bud of transactions — laid-back vibes, but it still needs to be airtight.

So yeah, our firm totally handles this kind of work. We'll make sure your deal is legally dialed in, everyone stays compliant, and nobody accidentally ends up trading a trimmer for a surfboard.

Here’s what we’ll handle:

• Drafting a solid sales contract

• Making sure the tax and delivery terms are clean and enforceable

• Ensuring you’re covered if anything goes sideways

• Guiding the whole transaction from “whoa” to “done deal”

Retainer & Fees:
We usually start with a flat $15,000 retainer for straightforward equipment transactions like this. If things stay groovy and simple, we’ll likely come in under that. If it gets complicated (like they want to pay you in crypto or weed coin or something), we’ll check in before going any further.

I’ll shoot over an engagement agreement for your review shortly. You can e-sign it or print it out and roll it into a paper airplane, but e-sign is faster.

Looking forward to working with you, brother.

Peace, pot, and legal protection,

- AP Chong

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

terrymartinsonoffice05@gmail.com

Sounds good, let's do it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I send this fee agreement

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


Excellent Cannabis Lawyer,

I have signed and attached below the retainer agreement. After discussing further with the buyer, more terms need to be included in the sales contract. The buyer’s broker will act on behalf of the buyer.

As agreed, the buyer will make an earnest money deposit of at least 55% of the purchase price ($90,120.00) covering attorney fees which are non-refundable, final inspection, insurance, and service parts for six months. The balance is due before shipment, after satisfactory inspection.

The buyer’s broker will provide a letter of intent with transaction details at the time of deposit.

Please confirm how the deposit check should be made out and your mailing address. I’ll share this with the buyer’s representative. Let me know once they reach out.

Thank you,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Yo Terry,

Righteous move, my dude — I saw the signed fee agreement come through. That’s the legal version of lighting it up and passing it to the left. Appreciate you making it official.

Sounds like the buyer’s crew added a few more twists to the sesh, huh? No sweat. We can totally bake those into the contract. We’ll make sure the earnest money deposit, broker reps, inspection, and insurance vibes are all legally airtight — nothing harshes the mellow like a busted clause.

As for the deposit check, have it made out to Best Washington Cannabis Lawyer, PLLC — that’s our official legal dojo. You can send it via old-school snail mail to:

Cheech Law, PLLC
220 Second Ave S, Suite 1600
Seattle, WA 98104
Attn: AP Chong (or just write “Legal Wizard” — it’ll still get to me)

Let the buyer’s rep know they can hit me up directly — phone, email, smoke signals — I’m ready. Once they send over the letter of intent, we’ll line everything up like dominos and nudge it forward.

Appreciate you looping me in on this righteous ride. Let’s get this gear moved and the good vibes flowing.

Keep it sticky,

AP Chong
Cheech Law, PLLC