<Terms1.pdf><John Deere 1775NT Planter.pdf> |
On Thu, 8 May 2025 at 8:27 PM, Church Lady Lawyer wrote:Well, isn’t that special, Brian!
Why yes, we do handle business and contract law matters — helping good folks like yourself keep things tidy and righteous in the eyes of the law and the lord. I’d be delighted to set up a time to chat and see how we can assist your fine establishment, Carlson Ag Service LLC.
Now, why don’t you send along a few dates and times that work for you, and we’ll get something on the calendar faster than you can say, “Well, isn’t that convenient!”
Looking forward to our little chat, Brian.
Bless your heart,
- Super Lawyer
On May 9, 2025, at 5:14 AM, Brian Carlson <carlsonagservicellc@gmail.com> wrote: Hello Church Lady Lawyer,I’d like to provide some background to clarify the situation. I’m looking to establish a long-term relationship with your law firm to handle our business law matters in Washington. Friehe Farms is interested in purchasing my John Deere Planter. Specifically, I’ve agreed to sell a 2023 John Deere 1775NT Planter to Friehe Farms 1502 T Rd NE, Moses Lake, WA 98837. who wants to increase their crop production for this and future farming seasons.I would appreciate your assistance in drafting the purchase and sale agreement and overseeing the transaction through to closing. The terms and price have already been agreed upon by both parties. I’ve attached the details of the 2023 John Deere 1775NT Planter, along with the agreed-upon terms, for your review.A few questions: Is this something you can assist with? What are your fees and retainer requirements for this service? Additionally, could you send me your engagement agreement for review?I look forward to working with you! Thanks.Brian CarlsonPresident and CEOCarlson Ag Service L.L.C(956) 606-3004
On Mon, 12 May 2025 at 8:03 PM, Church Lady> wrote:Brian, well well well… isn’t that special?
A shiny new 2023 John Deere 1775NT Planter, a budding business relationship, and a good old-fashioned handshake deal—how quaint! Why, it almost warms the cockles of my heart, if I had any. But of course, as we know, the Lord helps those who help themselves... to a proper purchase and sale agreement, lest things go the way of the serpent.
Now, is this something I can assist with? Oh heavens yes. Drafting airtight agreements and guiding good folks like yourself through transactions is just the sort of righteous work we do around here, when we’re not busy casting out the demons of ambiguity and confusion from other contracts, of course.
As for fees and retainer, I’ll have my office send you the engagement agreement shortly. It’ll include all the juicy little details like our hourly rates and payment structure, nothing sinful, I assure you.
I do look forward to working with you, Brian. And let’s all be thankful it’s a planter you’re selling and not something really scandalous... like a vibrating seed spreader.
Blessings,
CL
Dear Bryan Bo Bian,
Thank you ever so kindly for reaching out. It warms my heart to see folks eager to do things properly and decently in this world of chaos and moral decay. Why, it's almost as if someone is trying to follow the rules. What a novel idea!
Now, as for your request to receive a retainer agreement before we’ve seen the check? Hmm… let me think… who could be behind that kind of thinking? Could it be… Saaay-tan?!
We here at this upright, God-fearing law firm have a very simple policy: no retainer agreement goes out the door until we’ve received the initial $10,000 payment. It's not that we don’t trust you, dear, but you know what they say about good intentions paving a certain rather warm road.
Once that check arrives safe and sound, we’ll be happier than a televangelist in a tax loophole to get everything squared away and official.
Blessings,
Your Cannabis Lawyer
